I have known and believed in God because I grew up in a Christian family and went to Sunday school. But I did not accept Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. I was well-behaved and obedient. I enjoyed Sunday school, and even started leading and taught them. However, I took them for granted, as everything was just assumed for me. It was my first time living away from family when I moved to Brisbane to study around 3 years ago. I had the choice of not going to church on Sunday. But thank God, I was brought to Campus Christian Movement through a friend and then began my faith journey.

Being surrounded by passionate and faithful Christian students, I was somewhat surprised. Why were they so passionate, how did they all have inspirational and life-changing stories? I believed in God, why have I never experienced God like that before? I started joining a life group regularly, not only because everyone was so lovely, but I was curious about their faith and wondered why I was different. I so longed for a tangible sign from God. But when I continuously prayed for it, I felt nothing. I still took the step of faith one Sunday to receive Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour. I thought maybe now I can have the joy that others have. That was when God started shaping me and softening my heart. He began exposing and chipping away at the ugly sides of me. Though I believed in God, I had an orphan heart in every single way.

I would only come to God in desperate times and neglect Him for the rest of the week. I felt guilty and unworthy in His presence. I would feel frustrated when I did not feel His presence. I would do religious activities to try and please God. I would always compare myself to other Christians and their faith. One moment I was crying for a sign; another moment I convinced myself my life is fine without God. The conflicting interests were mentally draining, I felt so helpless, and I was longing for a touch, but I felt unworthy and therefore discouraged.

I think God knew it would be easy for Him to do a dramatic miracle in my life, but He chose not to. He gave me a choice to partner and to grow with Him every day. The trials, the mistakes that I made, through the love from my family, the life group he put around me, through random encounters and small revelations reveals His love for me. He slowly chipped away at my orphan heart through everyday moments. He knew this would grow a deep-rooted conviction in Him, instead of a fleeting, life-changing moment that I thought I needed. Now I can truly declare that I genuinely long to deepen my relationship with God because I have personally experienced His faithfulness. Through good times I can praise Him, and through tough times, I know He is carrying me too; I have confidence that my life is planted on a firm foundation.

We are created to be more than Sunday Christians, God created you to have more than just an acquaintance relationship with Him. He wants to give you so much more.

Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Cathy Wu
Bachelor of Architecture
UniGen UQ5, Hope Church St Lucia

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