The Lord Knows My Heart Desire

I would like to share with you about my story of how I met God and how God changed me. I hope this can encourage you.

I grew up in an atheistic family in China. My parents were very strict with me when I was young. They always asked me to be stronger and be successful in school. They told me that the strong must learn to be lonely. When I was in primary school and middle school, because of my physique, I always suffered from bullying. However, my mom told me that I should fight back for myself. She also said that the reason why someone bullied me was because I was weak and timid. On that day, I lost my courage to share my weakness to others. I began to also pretend that I was strong, to earn love and care from my mom. At that time, I knew nothing about Jesus and God. I decided to go through “the darkest night” all by myself.

When I started my journey in Australia, the relationship between me and my parents had worsened and I had no idea how to solve it. One day an idea just hit me (when I was taking a shower) that I should turn to someone for help. On a market day, I was wandering around the great court at UQ. Someone from a Christian group talked to me, asking me if I was willing to join them to learn about how great Jesus is. I realized that the idea last night was from God so I joined them for a couple of meetings, in which I started to learn about Jesus and God.

After a couple weeks, COVID attacked Australia and I was away from campus, away from God, until November of that year when I met Ming on campus. It must be God’s plan because on that day I just felt bored and wanted to take a walk on campus. I was touched by the love and kindness of Life Group and Hope Church which made me realize love can be unconditional, just like how God loves us. This is when I decided to receive Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour.

After some time, I started to pray to God, asking him to help fix the relationship with my Mom. God told me: “Think about your clothes, think about your food, think about where you are. Your Mom loves you just like I did, by her hands not by her mouth.” I could not hold back my tears after listening to God’s word, so I made a call to my Mom and apologized to her. At the same time, my Mom wanted to apologize to me, because she was too strict to me. Finally, my “darkest night” was flooded with light by the revival of God.

Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the lord your God is giving you.”