After graduating, I went straight into the workforce, I was happy with the small little milestones that I’ve reached as a young professional, and felt that I’ve got my world and my future under control. As I am slightly overconfident by nature, I have to admit that sometimes, ‘God is in control’ is only head knowledge to me. Deep down in my heart, I often think ‘it’s me who did it’.
Then I started going through the tedious and expensive process that many graduates would be familiar with – the PR (Australian Permanent Residency) application process. Initially, I expected a smooth sailing journey, but God decided that this is the time for me to learn a lesson.
Initially, I faced some minor problems with incomplete documents for my application, but what got me extremely frustrated was the English test.
I always thought I had decent English, but the test didn’t seem to be for me. I tried different tests, tried different preparation methods, but I just couldn’t get the maximum score for the test.
What made things worse was when I see how some of my friends easily passed the test without any effort. I was ashamed to let people know how hard I studied and how many tests have I attempted. At the same time, I started questioning God, blaming Him for giving me such a hard time. I was upset and angry with God.
After taking 3 tests, I decided to give it one last shot, I prayed and prepared even harder than all my other attempts, and guess what happened – nothing. The result came out during a worship practice session, and I was leading the band for rehearsal at Unidus. My heart sank when I saw the result, but at that point, something changed my heart. As I was serving God with my guitar, I realised that God doesn’t just want my music, he wants my wholehearted faith and trust.
I was pushed to a point where I know I can’t control this anymore. Some things are just not for us to decide, and I begin to understand the sovereignty of God. He is the one who decides what happens, He is the one who gives and takes away. Knowing that, what’s the point of me getting angry with God? I decided to just let it go, and continue to serve Him with whatever I have.
Last month, my lawyer called me one day and told me that my application got approved, they were surprised themselves and told me I was lucky. I knew it was the sovereignty of God. God probably saw that I’ve learned my lesson, and eventually released me out of my situation. Reflecting back, I realised that I have finally learned how to completely submit something to God, and even if He did not grant me my wish, I would have accepted it. Submitting something to God means surrendering the result to Him, not expecting our best for ourselves, but His best for us.
I hope that my story will serve as a reminder to us that if we ever find ourselves stuck in a situation, it may be because God wants us to learn something. And He is using this to mold and shape us into a stronger person.
Do not pray for an easy life, have faith, and pray to be a strong person.
Thank you all, God bless.
Elevate S1, St Lucia Morning Service